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Metro-Woes

Fleckney Sunday XI V Metronomes CC


Ah a new season , all the endless optimism and possibilities and five months of frolics await.


Outside direct sunlight it was a bit on the cold side, OK it was cold enough to send parts of the male anatomy North quicker than a Polar Bear seeking to avoid a suntan but the gang was back together and that is all that mattered.


To be fair it was somewhat of a miracle that any cricket was played due to a Winter wetter than a Barnes Wallace tribute but the outfield was soft and the wicket slow but playable. The Metronomes (228) beat Fleckney (158) by 70 runs


In true football reporting style the Roving Reporter gave each Fleckney player the following comments. All scores picked by chucking a dart into the board left handed and blindfolded.


Mandeep - The return of ‘Psycho’. A couple of wild shows of fielding exuberance followed by a typical swashbuckling 32 with the bat. Was going to get a high score but then revealed he can't play next week. 2/10 🤣


Nigel- Fantastic commitment in the field, bit unlucky to be caught behind without a run to his name. Fantastic stint scoring in what felt like the coldest place on Earth 6.5/10


Yak - No luck with the ball, unlucky with the bat but turned up to play at short notice. Always great to see him 6/10


Weir Snr - Best throwing arm in the team , not even close. Gains high marks for driving starman Fergus to the game but loses marks for playing classy shots not in the Fleckney Coaching manual. 7/10


Lennon - Fantastic performance. Ball followed him in the field. Hung around with the bat to get his top score. Showed commendable restraint in only hitting his Mum's bowling for one four thus preserving pocket money 8/10


Mohit - Great showing with bat and ball, even threw in a couple of pratfalls in the field to keep spirits up. Loses marks for dodgy bandana and being too competent 8/10


Ollie - Great enthusiasm in the field, inches away from a diving ‘worldie’ catch. Considerable improvement with both bat and ball over the Winter. Even picked up a new nickname of ‘Mr Muscle’ 7.5/10


Fergus - 2/33 from 8 overs. The almost birthday boy took a screaming caught and bowled and batted nicely too. Loses marks for this Reporter having literally nothing bad to say about him 8/10


Scooter - One wicket, bowled nicely and captained with usual aplomb. Made a concerted effort to give his wicket away without scoring, soon succeeded. 6/10


Fat Keeper - A catch, a stumping and a run out in a red letter day , even tried a shot or two with the bat which led to a unusual early departure. Loses huge marks for constant stream of verbal Diahorrea in the name of ‘humour’ 1/10


Frank - The legend returns. Came so close to a wicket, scored a cheeky red inker with bat. Scores are meaningless to Frank, when he stared playing match reports were done with chisels and slate. PRICELESS


With thanks to our fantastic opponents for the game, our awesome cake maker Anna and a massive get well soon to Mummy Scooter see you next week.


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